Phone sex.
And, of course, cybersex it's more technological sister in arms (or should that be spread legs?)
Is it cheating on your spouse? Or no different than taking yourself in hand in the shower if you're feeling the urge and no one else is around? You'll notice a lack of visual or 'porn' stimulus being mentioned -- that's a whole other topic for a different day -- but what makes many, if not most people take the leap that interaction with a living breathing person who's a room, a State, even half a world away is cheating or adultery in every sense of the word?
Is it purely that: Interaction with a living person versus the obvious flat celluloid imagery of 'porn'? I never been one to be down on a partner for watching 'teh pornz', it would be a lot like the pot calling the kettle black in my house, but I'd admit I'd feel disappointment if my partner took up calling phone sex lines or cybering with a stranger -- in good part because he can do that with me for free if only he'd asked *evil grin*.
Then of course if you run with the potential of phone or cyber sex in storyline, there is quite a reversal of how loving over the airwaves is seen. In fact I've read some amazing phone or cyber scenes that break open a character, potentially much in the same way BDSM can unlock the repressed emotions of either the submissive, or even the Master or Mistress. Although I do realise that comparision might be felt as a little of a stretch by many, I'm sure, and of course between people who are ultimately, single. Big difference that, being single and not.
So, what's your take on it?
AnneD
Mar 24, 2008
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3 comments:
Okay, here's my take on it. I do agree that it is closer to cheating than watching porn. It is more interactive. But I don't think it's cheating. If you are getting something from the relationship that your partner can't or won't give you, should you deny your needs?
It's not much different to me than finding a character in one of these stories that you really connect with. These people you all have created are just as real to me as someone you only ever email or talk to in a chat room.
Am I married and involved in a cyber relationship? Yes. It's a very intense, dominating relationship that I really need and my husband simply cannot provide. It's not about regular sex that I can get easily from him. This provides for needs that he doesn't. I think Im happier for it.
I think it's a sad fact that most people don't fulfill their fantasies with their significant other. Maybe it's 'too close to home' for some fantasies. Maybe we feel more embarrassed with those people that mean the most to us. I don't think phone sex is cheating -- just tacky and a waste of money. I'd be more annoyed due to the phone bill. I don't think watching porn is cheating. Hell, some couples I know watch together. We would be laughing too much to make it worthwhile, watching or on the phone. I think the only problem comes from the reason someone might be doing such things. Is it for a bit of fun, or is there some serious underlying uneasiness in the relationship? If it's the former than there's nothing to worry about.
Hell, I know of three TV stars my hubby 'quite likes' but he puts up with my heaving heavy sighs at a few 'stars' of my own liking. Any or all of this can add to your relationship. It doesn't have to detract from it. It's the difference from real and fantasy once more.
I think it's a sad fact that most people don't fulfill their fantasies with their significant other.
I agree. Life's too short not to enjoy your lover. And they are so eager to please when you are as well. That's what is known as a win/win.
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