There is no argument that I love hearing from readers, and all I can think is I've been sniveling in public lately because the last two weeks have been blessed with such incredibly kind letters from readers.
Should you ever have a down moment, know that there are people out
there who would give all they had just to be in your company, and who feel
a mountain of debt towards you. Should you ever have someone saying you
write too much, or you need to do something different, please, clod them on
the head for us. Should you ever wonder if your life was worthwhile, know
at least one of your readers feels a reconnection to humanity because of you,
is happy because of you, and believes you have made the world a better
place by far. That should surely count for something, right?
I don't even know how to respond to something like that -- I'm so deeply touched. And, as seems to so often happen, that letter came at a point of near-despair. And not over the internet connection (though that didn't help).
When I read things like this--and I've been so incredibly fortunate in my readers that readers care enough to take this kind of time to write--it helps me refocus on the things that matter.
But I seem to be digressing from my original point. My actual point is that, like so many writers, I often feel overwhelmed by the realization of all I'm failing to do. There's so much--writing is only a small part of it. It's the part that matters most to me, certainly--and probably to a lot of readers--but there's just a lot of stuff to do all the time.
Take this post here at Loose Id. I saw the alerts pop up in my email today and I realized that I needed to say something new, something fresh, something...something. And the week has been full of shrieking in full Edgar Allen Poe at ATT (who quoth NEVERMORE) and trying to hit deadlines (so freaking many deadlines) and what can I say that you haven't all heard before?
Probably nothing. But since I seem to be handing out nearly as much advice as I take these days, here are my three never fail tips for writing sex scenes that resonate with readers. Because when in doubt, pull the sex card.
1 - Say something.
Is it just me? I usually have something to say during those moments of, um, intimacy. I mean, unless I'm half asleep, and even then there's usually SOMETHING. Would you knock it off? Something. I'm blown away by how many fictional sex scenes apparently occur in dead silence or nothing more than a few moans and groans.
What a wasted opportunity for building genuine intimacy. People say stuff when they're feeling vulnerable and open and, yes, sexy.
2 - Equipment malfunction
Sometimes the most interesting stuff is what doesn't work. Again, maybe this is just me, but I'm not a machine and I've rarely had sex with machines. And I'd rather not talk about the time I did as I was VERY drunk and Coke doesn't even support that product anymore. (I have no idea what I'm talking about--I'm totally making this up as I go). Anyway...laughter and tears. Those aren't bad things in a scene of intimacy. Part of learning to be with someone is learning to be intimate with someone. And there's usually a learning curve. I like curves.
3 - Make them work for it
Not just the characters. The readers. Familiarity breeds contempt and a sex scene every fifteen pages is just dead boring. Make the characters work for it. Sex scenes mean more when they have ramifications. Sex before you're ready for it, sex with strangers, sex with enemies, sex for sex's sake...there are emotional and psychological ramifications for this stuff. But basically...if you have characters eat ice cream and cake every fifteen pages, it's dull, right? Oh, I know there are readers who live, vibrator in hand, for those scenes, but they don't write letters like the one above, and frankly, I'm not writing for those gals. They're just using me and my vending machine.
It's kind of like any relationship. We have our one night stands and we have our committed relationships. With every book, you make a promise to your readers, and what you're promising is you won't let them down and that you'll be there for the long haul. And even when you have performance anxiety, you'll do your best.
Writers, what are your favorite tips for making sex scenes count? Readers, name your single favorite sex scene in a book.
18 comments:
I think if you watch much (not that I do, nooooo) internet porn, you would think guys who have sex are all mutes. I think some foreign companies do that purposely because then you have a larger market. No one is going to say "I couldn't understand it". However I find it very weird to watch and read. I mean I'm not into long drawn out conversations and dissertations on the latest tax bill in congress, but unless being silent is some kind of plot device, say something, even if it's the ever popular "ungh" once in a while.
I love a big build-up sometimes. (And sometimes quick and dirty works). But teasing and flirting and almost kisses until you just want scream if they don't rip their clothes off RIGHT NOW AND DO IT! That works for me. :-D
Word veri: diable - love it.
My favorites are actually between Adrien and Bruce in Fatal Shadows because it's such a very brave and very human moment, and between Sam and Alyssa in Suzanne Brockmann's Troubleshooter Series, because their intense dislike of each other really amps up the passion.
As a writer, my advice is usually don't censor yourself. People feel so squeamish about writing love scenes, and I think when you tone it down because you're afraid to type any words that end in "ck," it never comes off as well.
I love a sex scene that surprises me - maybe not just that the hero is THAT limber - but when they surprise me because they surprise themselves. Maybe they become emotional when they didn't think that was the point, when they push a personal boundary or someone else's, when they find that it isn't solving the problem they thought it would but is creating a few more. I like surprises.
When I write a sex scene I think of it in terms of what I need the scene to accomplish either physically or emotionally between the characters and how I can surprise them with the outcome. If I can do that - I'm happy. If it doesn't take them either a step forward or a step backward (which can be just as important in the evolution of a relationship) then it's just fluff and need to figure out another way to get them there.
Thanks so much for the tips. Gosh! A single favorite sex scene? That's hard. Even for the likes of me, who reads so much erotic romance. Basically, I prefer writers taking the time to develop the characters while building up the passion before the sexual explicitness begins, or at least, giving the reader enough insight to care about those characters.
What a beautiful letter, Josh.
As a reader, I like a slow build to a big moment. But I also like a quick & dirty because you're so totally in the moment and caught up in the storm you can't stop. Completely depends on the story and the characters. And I love how it can change the dynamic afterward.
As a writer, I love the build - tension, tension, tension, and then a little more tension and kaboom! But there are also those moments that need to be heartbreakingly tender. Again, all depends on the characters and storyline.
Huh. Interesting. The thing that really struck me was your tip for talking more. I'm going to have to go back and check my sex scenes :) This is TMI, I'm sure, but I CAN'T talk during. Just can't. And now I'm not sure if I've given that same hang up to my characters. Uh-oh.
As for a favourite tip? I say don't plan 'em. I think they fall out a little more naturally when you don't have a script in your head for who does what when. But then, I don't have your writing expertise!
I agree with make em talk. I can't have silent sex or my OCD kicks in and I start making list of things like housework i need to do the next day
As a writer, I like humor...I mean really, sex can just be funny. Stuff happens...I've been walked in on, fallen into a patch of stinging nettles (which wasn't funny at the time, but now its hilarious) and busted out laughing for no reason.
Then, I also like to make it emotional. Sex strips us down to our most basic, and sex when we're grieving, angry, joyous, in love...it fuels the scene with emotion. This is where you can really let the characters share more of themselves then they normally would.
I think if you watch much (not that I do, nooooo) internet porn, you would think guys who have sex are all mutes.
:-D
Love this comment. And you're right, I'm sure it is partly marketing (and partly to save the expense of hiring writers). Their primary audience is probably not going to miss the lack of witty repartee.
word veri: dievois
(definition--lack of speech during sex) ;-D
Brockmann's a great author to read and learn from.
I think there's a difference between coy and lyrical. I like my sex scenes frank (I certainly don't want to have find my way through a forest of metaphors) but I don't want crude and bald.
I can get that in the porn section.
I love your idea of a surprise, Robin. That's a great way to look at it. And because it stays intrisic to the characters, every scene will be a little different -- which is what you want.
Hey there, Joanna. I agree wholeheartedly with that. Once the reader is invested with the characters, the scenes mean more anyway.
Hi LC!
Yes, that letter came--as reader letters so often seem to do--at a crucial moment for me. And that's an especially beautifully written one.
And of course, you're right, different things work for different characters, and every story--and every scene of intimacy--should be different. Just as the characters themselves should be different.
I couldn't agree with you more about the build up of tension. Sometimes I think a lot of writers in our genre can't take a lot of tension themselves! ;-D
KC, I think it could be very effective to write a scene where--for various reasons--the characters might be mute.
But if every scene is the same, it begins to tell the reader a lot more about the writer than the characters. ;-D
I remember a copyeditor commenting on a scene in Out of the Blue (non-LI book) that spunk should be flying everywhere given the age and desperation of the characters, but I had just written three books where body fluids were doing everything but loop-de-loops, and the point of this scene was something very different.
Every book, every scene cannot be the same. Even if it's the same characters in a series, the sex should be showing us (and the characters) something new, something different each time.
IMO.
I agree with make em talk. I can't have silent sex or my OCD kicks in and I start making list of things like housework i need to do the next day
Love it. :-D
As a writer, I like humor...I mean really, sex can just be funny. Stuff happens...I've been walked in on, fallen into a patch of stinging nettles (which wasn't funny at the time, but now its hilarious) and busted out laughing for no reason.
Exactly. Sex--especially first time sex--is often awkward and tentative. Lots of funny things can happen during these scenes from equipment misfires to the roof caving in (literally). I find the mechanical perfection of so many of these scenes just...dull. And inhuman.
Then, I also like to make it emotional. Sex strips us down to our most basic, and sex when we're grieving, angry, joyous, in love...it fuels the scene with emotion. This is where you can really let the characters share more of themselves then they normally would.
Yep, beautifully said.
Regarding a build-up of sexual tension: I'm all for it! Heck, sometimes, that's the best part. Leading you on, frustrating you, making you earn it, and then finally getting the big payoff.
But I recently read some comments between an editor and a writer where Writer said that the build-up is over several chapters (6 or so) and Editor asked if there couldn't be something, even a little solo time, somewhere earlier so readers don't get bored. Huh? :( I don't like that at all and, man, does it make me not want to comply. I don't write gratuitous porn; I write romances, damn it.
Missy, you've got to just roll with it when you're starting out. Some of this is tempered by the different houses and the different editors and even, to some extent, where the author is in her career.
Some folks do hold the theory that readers have just gotta have it and gotta have it fast and frequent or they will lose interest -- which is, I think, pretty disrespectful of readers, but you've got to do a fair bit of compromising along the way with your publishing partners.
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