When in doubt, write about porn… Seriously, I was totally tapped for a blog post today… and then this week, I saw some porn. I actually don’t watch a lot (I get the majority of it from following the Coffee and Porn in the Morning blog from Marie Sexton & Heidi Cullinan).
I’m a wee bit picky, which is probably why I don’t watch a lot. I like a little plot, a little acting ability, and dear God, they have to look like they’re enjoying themselves. But… as far as ‘plots’ or perhaps ‘themes’ go, I discovered there are worse things than no plot and disinterested, lackluster acting. The search for a decent plot with one’s porn can lead one down some unexpected and unfortunate paths.
One: zombie porn. It was horrible. Horrible. The zombie giving a blow job is something I will never be able to brain-bleach away. And the sounds. Ugh. *full body shudder*
Two: bumblebee porn. Seriously. Everyone was dressed (for a brief time) in yellow and black stripes and sparkly deely boppers for antennae. The deely boppers NEVER came off, no matter what sex act occurred. I felt like I’d wandered into some fetish-land that I had no idea existed. For those who have that fetish… well, they have my sympathy, because it must be hard to find a lot of bee porn. There was nothing in the description to even hint at the bee-ishness. Clever marketing or piss-poor planning? Who knows. But it must turn someone's crank.
Nevertheless, it’s all going into the ideas folder, because I'm sure I'm going to be using one or the other in a book one day. And if you're into bee porn, well, I apologize in advance, because I'm pretty certain I'm going to use it for comic relief.
KC Burn
May 21, 2011
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4 comments:
Yep, with you on the zombie thing. I just can't get my head around how anything with zombies in can be erotic. Bits dropping off, flaking off - yuck.
It makes bee porn sound attractive in comparison.
I shuddered just reading about the zombie porn. I imagined parts falling off - nuff said!
I refuse to believe that there is zombie porn. (shudder)
Hi Barbara - at least the bee porn was merely ludicrous and amusing :)
Wynter & Chudney - oh, it exists, but I have to admit, they did not have bits falling off (thank heaven for small favours). But it was still creepy as all get out.
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