Today's Topic:
Adultery
More than one erotica novel has been centered around the taboo act of adultery. Men and women alike fantasize about what it would be like to stray, whether or not they would actually go through with it. At this time, most publishing houses automatically reject a romance manuscript containing adultery, but what do you think? Does adultery have a place in erotic romance, or is it the one taboo that will remain forbidden to authors?
15 comments:
Wow! What a great question. This really goes to the roots of what makes a hero or heroine and the journey to get there.
What is Adultery?
My definition is where one partner in a committed relationship (committed since some couples are not necessarily married) has a relationship with a person other than their partner without their knowledge. This relationship is most likely is physical, but in my book, emotional relationships can be just as devastating. (ex. chatting on-line)
Can a hero or heroine be a liar, deceitful, untrustworthy, and/or capable of hurting the one person they have given their word (oath,vow,promise) to love, support, honor and respect?
Those are traits not many readers would put up with in a hero/heroine. I'm not sure readers would root for the hero/heroine if it the adultery took place in the current timeline of the story without serious consequences.
However, can you tell how that character's behavior has devastated a relationship, and/or family and how the person redeems his or herself and becomes a hero or heroine?
Yes, I think you can.
Our characters may start out flawed, and may have made bad choices in the past, but at that point, they aren't heroes/heroines.
We'd want them to pay the price of that failure of character and then move beyond, regain their honor, rebuild respect and trust, and learn from their mistakes.
In other words, to become the heroes/heroines we and our readers hope they'd be.
I don't think I could believe a HEA for a couple that went through adultery.
I know it happens in real life that couples do not separate, but for me it's a question of trust. Once the trust is gone, I just don't buy that a couple can ever be really deep-down happy again.
Adultery isn't romantic and neither is it erotic in my opinion.
I was very disappointment when I read a highly recommended book and found out that it told the story of adulterous relationship between a married woman and a monk.
Not only did the woman betray her marriage vows, the monk also betrayed his religious vows.
So, you tell me why this book (The Mermaid's Chair) became a bestseller when it debuted.
Barbara Karmazin
Lynn - very well put. I couldn't have said it that well. :)
Growly cub - what if the romance wasn't about one of the main characters cheating on their spouse and then going back to that person, but forging a whole new life with someone else?
Barbara - I haven't read that one, but it doesn't sound like something I would enjoy. A married woman and a monk? What's that about?
I agree that adultery is NOT romantic. For me, romance/HEA must have a firm level of commitment and that does not include straying in any form. I can accept menages when the relationship is a permanent threeway partnership, but it bothers me when a couple brings in a third whether it is a onetime event or shortterm.
I'm not sure this comment is worth the effort I'm putting into to post it. Grrrr. Fourth try.
LI might publish a book on adultery but the effort it would take to justify the situation, redeem the characters and then soothe the readers who would still be angry would have to really be worth it.
Adultery isn't romantic. It has its place in literature but not necessarily romance and for it to work in romance, I agree with Treva that it would have to be an exceptional book.
The real trouble lies in individual definitions of adultery. There are plenty of menage books out there but in many readers' eyes they are adulterous and therefore a no-go area. That's fine and just a matter of personal choice but those involved in a menage or any type of open relationship aren't being adulterous in the eyes of the participants because they are 'knowingly' in this relationship, yet these type of books will also make some people angry. Still, I believe such relationships have their place in romance because they exist in the real world AND it's escapist fantasy for some. Adultery is not by any definition loving or fun so it belongs in other genres other than romance. Doing something stupid before one has made a real commitment is, I believe, a different subject that the romance genre can handle if written well.
I've seen one that I thought was okay. I can't remember the name of it and i think they even made a movie out of it. The woman's husband wanted her dead, but the man he hired to kill her was attracted to her after watching her for as long as he did. He ended up helping her and she fell in love with him as well. Something like that might work, but even then it would be tough.
I think it depends on the story. What's "adultery?" If you have a woman in an abusive relationship, and in the story she doesn't sleep with the husband but leaves him for the hero and sleeps with the hero, technically that's adultery but it's also her "rescue" because the husband is the bad guy. There are those who would classify "adultery" as sex between unmarried persons, no matter what their relationship status.
Depending on the context, the story, etc. it would, in my mind, have to be judged on an individual basis.
Amanda, I think the answer would have to be 'it depends'. I can see very few situations that would make that fly for me, because if I were that woman, I'd always wonder in the back of my mind whether he'd do that to me as well, since he's done it to another woman he claimed he loved (or vice versa for a female).
In other words, he lied to her, why would I think he will not lie to me also?
The story line with the abusive husband/wife I'd read, but mostly because that relationship is over already even if they might still be legally married.
For me it all comes down to trust and it's not limited to adultery, any kind of lie would evoke that same feeling. Trust gone, relationship kaputt.
Conversely, I LOVE Paula Detmer Riggs and her books are all about redemption, but I could never imagine taking a partner back who had broken my trust in real life. I really don't know why I dig these stories so.
A book that I love is one of Riggs' Maternity Row books where the couple have been divorced for 8 years. I always get uncomfortable when reading the bit about the husband's few relationships after they were divorced, but I can gloss over it because the rest of the story is so great, even though I wish every time she hadn't put that in.
(the really funny part about me loving her books is that they are full of babies and I detest baby books... go figure)
One book that I want to love and in a way do, but that's at the same time ruined for me is Theresa Weir's 'Forever'. The hero has to go find himself with another woman. He has good reason for needing to leave, possibly even for 'cheating' on the heroine, but I get all sad when I re-read that part. That was just a bit too real for me.
In a way, for every definite statement I make about things I cannot tolerate in (erotic) romance, there's probably a book out there that I love that I shouldn't because I feel strongly about the situation.
Exceptions to the rules and all that. :)
But adultery (meaning stepping outside a committed relationship - however many people are involved in that relationship - by lying to them and doing things behind their back) creates a very strong, visceral, negative emotion.
I can't see how it can be romantic. Even if that person goes with the person they cheated with, because at the end of the day, they cheated. What's to say they won't cheat again and find their supposed "love" elsewhere.
It is however a good topic to write about, however not in a romantic sense. No author could justify a cheating spouse to me. It isn't a fantasy (for me), I'm afraid.
but it bothers me when a couple brings in a third whether it is a onetime event or short term.
I agree with this, whilst I don't read Ménage à trois stories anyway. I have been in unfortunate incidents when I've read stories, where a third person pops up from nowhere. Very...annoying.
tricky question. I love HEA endings and I think that partners whatever their persuasion should be faithful. But one of the best stories that i have read lately was ReneCade By Cameron Dane. It's a gay romance. Ren, one of the heroes ends up cheating on his new partner for various reasons (confusion, misunderstanding and trying to support a friend). Cade, his SO discovers them mid act, and is broken hearted about it. Ren has to go to great lengths to regain Cade's trust, but it actually takes Ren's best friend to clear up Cade's thinking.
Before i read this book i was of the opinion that nothing would make me accept a book that had cheating/adultery by a main character. I was wrong.
In ReneCade, it was more like Ren thought Cade had dumped him and sought solice with another man.
Sort of like on Friends, when Ross thought he and Jenifer Aniston were on a "break". She considered it cheating, he didn't.
Both were devastated and it ended their relationship, and for me, it ended my watching the show. (What were they thinking?)
As for menages, in some stories, the worlds created accept them as normal. In others, its more an open arrangement. In reality, very few people could maintain that sort of relationship because most people can't accept that a person can love two people equally and at the same time.
I guess that's why menage's are frequently a once in a while sexual fantasy come to life.
I've written a few myself in that vein. But like I said before, willing partners do not make adultery.
It's a tricky question. I know technically in one of my favorite books of all time, The Lady's Tutor, Elizabeth commits adultery because she is technically still married. But the extenuating circumstances are quite over the top, and in spirit, she broke with her husband long before. Her husband has already rejected her. The way it's handled, it almost doesn't seem adulterous.
I think it takes a lot of finesse to make the plot something people can read and not have the adultery hit most people right in the stomach. In most books, I'd never be able to stomach adultery. It would become a wallbanger.
Agreed. Not being able to trust the one person in the world who is supposed to love you more than any other would not only kill that trust in him, but would also tend to make me not trust others. I mean if he could cheat when he cared so much about me, what makes me thinks a casual acquaintance is gonna care how I feel one way or the other? There have been several books written recently that skate along trying to show adultery as being okay under certain circumstances, but I'm afraid I'm one who says no, not okay, get divorced first. If the attraction is strong enough to consider adultery, the marriage is finished.
Just my two cents...
Georgia
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