Condom, or not condom? That is the question.
It's romance, the stuff of fantasies - or nightmares, depending on how you look at it - should the hero (or the heroine, I'm all for taking responsibility for your own sexual safety) strap on the plastic every time the heroine gets that lusty look in her eye?
Should Romance authors feel the wait of responsibility for making sure our readers engage in safe sex?
Does that wrapper ripping, and that snap and smell of latex interrupt the flow of what was a hades hot sex scene? Or does it lend an air of normalcy -- after all, that fumbling for the packet that slipped under the pillow and down behind the bed only to be thought a playtoy by the cat so your left with dick hanging out, flopping all over the place as you flounder under the bed while you yell and scream for the damn animal to give it back! is pretty normal...no? Damn.
And yeah, I know, I know - big kahuna of a run on sentence back there, but deal with it (unless you're my editor and I swear profusely that I'm working on not doing that ever again!). So, tell us what you think: Plastic - the non fetish kind - good or bad when it comes to romance novels?
17 comments:
I wondered if I might be sent to literary hell for abusing Shakespeare that much, but on further investigation (because seriously, walking around with whole passages of olde english plays in my head is so not going to happen) it turns out might have been most applicable when read with a modern take to the words, and indeed a good reason for condom usage:
HAMLET:
To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.
Okay, here's my take -- it depends on the story.
Fantasy world where STD don't exist -- probably not -- or describe some magical non-interruptus (LOL) preventive -- that is if the one able to deliver offspring (and note, I did not indicate gender or even type of offspring)does not wish to reproduce!
Contemporary setting?
Committed relationship? Again story dictates the situation.
And the very act of putting on protection can be and perhaps should be, part of the sexual foreplay....I'm just sayin'
I am also of the school of it-depends-on-the-story. Sometimes my peeps remember, sometimes they dont, sometimes they just don't care cause the scary crazy world of STD's doesn't apply to them.
In Isabella in Pearls, the hero, Jaysun, remembers the raincoat, but that's because he's basically a man-ho.
If it's done well I don't find it Distracting, if it's not, well I snicker and try to overlook it.
My 2 cents..
Meme
I'll probably be stones for saying this, but condoms break the mood for me. I read erotic romance knowing it's fantasy. While I do want the main characters to practice safe sex, I like it better if they use other means to ensure no pregnancy, and they live "clean" lives so are sure of no disease. See, that's fantasy. :) It always throws me when two lovers are getting sexy but have to stop for his raincoat. Yes, the condom can be applied as part of the sexy vibe, but it turns me off.
My two cents. OH, and I usually get dinged by my editor to watch the safe sex. haha
Marie
Have to wave at Meme first *waves*.
Count me in the camp, that contemporaries with no paranormal elements need condom use. I just read one recently, no condom which just yanked me right out of the story. With my contemporaries, I do go for condom use, unless like with the vamps or there's already a committed relaltionship.
I'm for the condom use if it fits the story and the genre. And although some think it interupts the flow, there are ways a woman can help put the condom on that can be extremely hot and erotic.
I use them in my work if there's a reason to, but I don't think it's a requirement. In this day and age everyone should be well aware of the need for safe sex in real life. I don't feel the need to preach about it in my fiction.
I'm for the condom.
Especially if two strangers are going to have sex.
I like sense in a character.
I think authors should find clever ways to include condom use without ruining the mood.
after all, that fumbling for the packet that slipped under the pillow and down behind the bed only to be thought a playtoy by the cat so your left with dick hanging out, flopping all over the place as you flounder under the bed while you yell and scream for the damn animal to give it back! is pretty normal...no? Damn.
That's the funniest damn thing I've read all day...LOL.
Personally for me, and most people that have read my stuff will know...I hate using condoms. I ruins the whole scene for me.
Then again...if one's feline pet is getting playful while one's dick is flopping all over the place, kitty might find a more interesting toy--and that woulld really break the mood. (Or so I'm told.)
Not to mention that anyone who'd trust a cat-bitten condom is probably in need of more than a condom for protection.
But seriously, use or nonuse of a condom means something. Or it should.
In scifi/para etc etc I have no problems with missing prophylactics, but in contemporaries unless there's been a clear reason why not to it always feels like it's setting up for the 'oopsie baby' plot if they don't use them.
I think it's because, in my mind at least, every person who is sexually active in this day and age should know better than to not strap on the plastic because there are some pretty damn big consequences.
I've found in some storylines not putting in a condom (without some sort of reasoning why) jarrs me out of the story - because I have to think twice about the protags and their motivations at that point.
And lets face it, in a m/m storyline pregnancy isn't the normal outcome of unprotected sex :)
If it's a contemporary story, I say absolutely. Why? Because it seems that every story I read where they don't slip on the latex means there will either be a pregnancy or some horrible disease passed on. There are no dodged bullets. Or, if there are, I wouldn't be expecting one so I might even feel cheated if there weren't. Unfair? Well, there you have it.
Now, if we're talking paranormal or fantasy, that's different. You can have other reasons why no diseases or buns in the oven come across. Or in sci-fi where people have been engineered to not get either.
Of course, I've been writing a lot of m/m lately, so no pregger scares. But there are diseases. After all, there are those who still believe AIDS is the gay disease. It would depend on the character and the act then and it would say a lot about him whether he went sheathed or not. So I use it as a character trait and plot device. Hey, make it part of the story!
As a reader, I always thought we are adult readers that we know this stuff of safe sex and don't feel it must be in the book unless the author or the story fits it in. So it goes either way for me. But most important, I don't feel that they should make sure they put such and such in.
I know one publisher I read, they always put in that this is fiction, and always practice safe sex, and put it on one of the pages before the title.
And Hi all. Glad to find this blog from LID! Love your books!
It depends completely on the story for me.
I wrote a World War II historical, and received the usual request to have the protags use condoms -- and ever since I've had reader after reader question and argue whether two gay guys in World War II would have the condom mindset -- and it is certainly debatable.
It depends on the story. In historicals, I rely on the "magic birth control" that historicals are known for. *laugh* As for contemporaries, it depends on the story. In one of my contempos, I feature two couples. One uses condoms, the other does not as show of contrast in that the second couple lives more dangerously. In other contempos, I forego condom usage because I feel that, ultimately, I'm writing erotic fantasy, and I trust my readers are intelligent and know the difference between fantasy and the harsh dangers of reality.
I think I'd agree with you there Josh - I wouldn't even think twice about condom usage in that time period (esp not in a m/m sit). It's only modern contemporaries that it bugs me with.
It's the same with historical stuff - I always get a laugh when an author has them use a prophylactic device. You ever seen the things from back then? Guys who complain modern day condom 'dull the sensation' have no clue what their older counterparts had to work with ROFL - they were rubber!
Courtesy of Wikipedia:
"The rubber vulcanization process was patented by Charles Goodyear in 1844, and the first rubber condom was produced in 1855.[7] These early rubber condoms were 1-2mm thick and had seams down the sides.[5] Although they were reusable, these early rubber condoms were also expensive.
Distribution of condoms in the United States was limited by passage of the Comstock Act in 1873. This law prohibited transport through the postal service of any instructional material or devices intended to prevent pregnancy. Condoms were available by prescription, although legally they were only supposed to be prescribed to prevent disease rather than pregnancy.[4] The Comstock Act remained in force until it was largely overturned by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1936.
In 1912, a German named Julius Fromm developed a new manufacturing technique for condoms: dipping glass molds into the raw rubber solution. This enabled the production of thinner condoms with no seams. Fromm's Act was the first branded line of condoms, and Fromms is still a popular line of condoms in Germany today.[7] By the 1930s, the manufacturing process had improved to produce single-use condoms almost as thin and inexpensive as those currently available."
I'm very much in the depends category. In my Swithin books, which are fantasy, absolutely no because they wouldn't have known how to make them and it would be plain ridiculous. Besides, it's my fantasy world and if I say STDs don't exist then they don't. I'm also prepared to believe a shapeshifter doesn't carry such viruses, same for vampire etc.
In contemporary, well I have to hold up my hand and admit that in my first contemporary, Snow Angel, I decided I was writing escapism so I didn't mention them. Now I admit I kind of regret that. I do intend to write more contemporary and I'll include them, although for me personally they take me out of the world and away from the romance. I think it would be good if books just came with a 'practice safe sex in real life' warning. Still, I think it would have been more responsible to make some reference to condom use. Once a couple are committed again I feel it depends. By Angel Heart, the sequel to Snow Angel, I wouldn't have bothered as they are clearly together by then. It's too late to change it but I've learned from the experience and I think a compromise is to mention the condom but that doesn't mean you have to mention it throughout the book or go into detailed use.
My problem with the condom comes with regards to oral sex. I gag at even the thought and just wouldn't...um...participate, shall we say? However, stories that use condoms for sex but not oral confuse me and even frustrate me. There's a lesser risk but there's still a risk and I know most of my girlfriends who are single wouldn't dream of performing oral sex without a condom in place, but to be blunt, sucking rubber in a romance novel certainly does nothing for me. In short, there's no way to please everyone on this subject and the writer has to be true to their own beliefs.
As to two gay guys in WWII, I have to confess I can't remember off the top of my head what year the condom was invented but I know that early on they were of the sort you washed out and re-used. All together now... Eeeeeewwwwwww!
Post a Comment